Why I Left My Old Job and What I Could Have Done Better

I was starting to clear out my office when the CEO stopped by and said that he would have rather had me working 40-hour weeks for 4 years instead of 80-hour weeks for 2. Although the number was somewhat of an exaggeration, I appreciated the sentiment. To everyone else in the company, I had expressed an upcoming move as the reason for my departure, but the CEO knew I wasn’t leaving just for an easier commute. I was burnt out.

It had nothing to do with him or my direct managers. In fact, they would tell me to use more PTO and to stop working over the weekend. It was the state of the department and the overall company culture that wore me down. With every resignation, my manager would assure me that things would get better, but after a certain point, I was the one trying to reassure her.

I fully realized how toxic the workplace was when:

• I took my first vacation and returned to hear someone say “You’ve only been here a year and already took time off? You’re so lucky.”
• I began to leave my office light on even when I knew I would be in a different part of the building for hours. Everyone needed to make it clear that they weren’t out of the office.

But I was so desperate to leave that I did make one mistake: I was more focused on running away from a bad situation than running towards something better. Whether I made the right decision in how I left and where I ended up is still to be determined, but I do know that there were things I could have done to make the jump more intentional.

What I Could Have Done Better:

1. Take my freaking PTO. Sure, it was cool to get an unused vacation payout on my last check - but it would have been cooler if I had sprinkled one-off PTO days over my tenure. It would have made me a lot less worn out and therefore less desperate to leave.

2. Get in the habit of scheduling emails to be sent later. No matter what, I would have had to work nights and weekends to get everything done — but I wish I didn’t let other people know that. Because people saw late night and weekend time stamps on my emails, they thought I was always online and accessible.

3. Eat my lunch.

4. Not give a heads up that I was leaving until I was done with interviews. I know that there was plenty of work for me to do even if my replacement was quickly found, but it was pretty nerve wracking to have my job posted before I had received any job offers. My commitment to ensuring a smooth transition and the loyalty I felt towards my manager ended up lighting a fire under me to act fast.

But I guess that’s really the crux of it. Never give your all to a company that would never do the same for you. I was lucky my manager looked out for me, but she took her PTO, she didn’t respond to emails when she was off the clock, she ate her lunch. And she would never feel guilty about leaving a company to do what was right for her. You and I shouldn’t either.